A Broken Toy
by AceLovesAnime
Summary: PLEASE read the trigger warnings at the beginning of the first chapter. Okay, now for the summary: Struggling with a recent stroke of depression, Ciel attempts to take his own life only to be found by Sebastian and taken to the hospital. Confessions are then made, though not believed at first. Sebaciel! {Credit for the Cover Image goes to the appropriate artist.}
1. Void

**{ TRIGGER WARNINGS: This fanfiction includes depictions and mentions of the following subjects: suicide, self injury/cutting, and blood. **

**Please read at your own discretion. I don't want anyone surprised by the content, so I thought I should warn you. }**

* * *

><p>The blood… it may as well have been taunting him as he watched it - perfect scarlet against snow white skin that would never again be pure. It reminded him of Madame Red in an almost childish way; red was the color of passion, the same as spider-lilies, but it was also the color of blood and gore…And now here it was, soaking the carpet of the Phantomhive Manor as though it was the master of the household instead of the other way around.<p>

Yet he only starred at this scarlet enemy as tears stung his eyes, threatening to fall from his face like rain drops. The pain had long since subsided, now there was only a numb burn in its place. It felt sick, the way the hurting had stopped so easily; it was like winning a race to a turtle - you won, but it wasn't satisfying.

The door flew open, but he didn't move from where he sat on the ground, starring at the bloody piece of metal in his hand. So small, but so sharp; it would have been insignificant to most people…

Then it was out of his hand, though he barely recognized the person who'd snatched it away. He'd never seen the butler look so worried, so shocked; no, his butler always had the answers… Suddenly he didn't, and Ciel found that very odd despite his numbness. In a normal situation, he might have chastised the demon, but he didn't care enough to speak yet.

Gloved hands hurried around him, quickly soaked crimson as a towel was pressed to his wrists. The demon's expression was one of struggle, clearly fighting between his concern and his desire to enjoy the macabre sight; it seemed that, for now, his better half was winning. Ciel watched as Sebastian's lips moved, but the words were white-noise and nothing more. What did this demon care anyways? He was just a meal to him, just as he'd only been this or that to all the others.

He could feel himself sinking, his azure eyes threatening to close. Then he was being shook as Sebastian grabbed him by the shoulders, knelt down in front of him as he tried to stop the bleeding. Those lips moved again, but the noise was mute, like a blank record that merely scratched against the player. Finally, a small bit of the words were caught_: blood loss, hospital_._  
><em>

He shook his head then. _No. _His mouth wouldn't move to form the words properly, so he stuck to the visual denial for now. He didn't want to go to the hospital; it would be all over the streets of London within hours if he went out in public over this; that couldn't happen… though he was having a hard time remembering why it couldn't.

The boy's head hurt with all these thoughts, so he pushed them aside, back under the white-noise that everything around him had become. Suddenly nothing was there. There was nothing to worry about as black spots covered his vision and he let his eyes shut for what he was certain would be the last time… Death, it wasn't supposed to be peaceful, but maybe the Earl had gotten lucky.


	2. My Bloody Valentine

When Ciel woke back up, he was in agony. He only halfway opened his eyes at first; the light made the headache worse. Adverting his gaze from the light, he noticed that his wrists were bandaged now… Even in the face of death, he had failed; it was like a weight on his chest, crushing and confining him.

Sebastian's voice broke through the young master's haze then, "My lord, are you alright?" He was frowning and his red eyes were misty as though he'd been crying—but Ciel refused to believe that the demon had shed a single tear over him; it was his imagination, that was all.

"Fine," he rasped, eyes narrowing as he asked, "Why did you do this?"

* * *

><p>The butler frowned at the strange question, not understanding what his master had meant. Confusion coated his voice now as he asked, "D-do what, my lord?" He would later berate himself for stammering, but for now it didn't matter; all that mattered was Ciel's health.<p>

"Save me," the human sighed, "Why?"

Sebastian bit back a gasp at the words, looking away for a moment to get a grip on himself. It didn't matter how personally rattled he'd been by Ciel's actions; he had to stay together to help the young Earl through this. Now was no time to panic. "Believe it or not," he spoke slowly, but not without emotion, "I'd be very upset if you were to die."

A scoff left the human, though the sound was weak and quickly turned into one of those wet, strangled coughs that make you cringe.. "Yeah," he choked out, "That's hilarious—"

"I wasn't joking," Sebastian sighed, shaking his head at him, "You're so damaged. What's happened to you this past week?"

Ciel reached up with shaky hands to rub his temples, trying to work the stress out of his head. His voice was weak as he whispered, "Nobody cares about me anymore, Sebastian. My parents are dead, the servants only stick around because they're paid to, and you're just here to get my soul - so take it already; I'm tired of this game."

"My lord," Sebastian was baffled by the despair in Ciel's voice. He dashed closer to him and brushed the hair from the child's face, his voice gentle, "I don't know where you got this notion that none of us care, master, but we do…. I do."

The Earl shook his head miserably, pushing his butler's hand away as he started to cry. "Stop confusing me, you…you bloody br-braggart!" he choked out the words, trying to hold back his sobs as the demon looked down at him.

Sebastian's eyes were wide with fright at the display, and in those moments he didn't know what he was supposed to do. So he did the only thing that he could possibly think of: the butler grabbed the child's hands gently, careful not to disturb his bandages as he kept the boy from pushing him away. Then, keeping his voice as gentle as possible, he told him, "I care about you. I love you." He shook his head sadly, "Can't you see that?"


	3. Love, Lies

Ciel glared at the demon through his tears as he sobbed, "You're lying!" He tried to pull his hands out of the butler's grasp as he yelled, "You're lying to me! That's all you ever do is lie, Sebastian! Leave me alone already!"

Completely taken aback by how miserable the young master was, Sebastian argued, "My lord, I've said it before and I'll say it again: I would never lie to you. Please…" He shook his head, eyes contorted with worry, "Please calm down, master."

"Why?" the child sobbed, finally getting his hands out of the other's grip to cover his face. He'd realized a few moments ago that he was in the hospital, covered by white walls. He didn't like it one bit.

Immediately, the butler got hold of his master's hands away, holding them firmly but gently. He bent down and kissed the boy's forehead even as Ciel broke down, the demon's voice quiet, "Because I love you, like I just said. It's alright to be upset, my lord, but never say that I don't care."

"You're so confusing!" Ciel shouted, shutting his eyes tightly, "Just leave me alone, Sebastian. You don't care; you never cared!" He took a deep breath before spitting out the words, "Just—just piss off and leave me alone!"

It was at that moment that one of the nurses walked into the hospital room. She looked from Ciel to Sebastian in concern before speaking, "Visiting hours are over. You should leave, let him get some rest."

"I'm not leaving," Sebastian told her firmly, glaring at the nurse as his eyes flashed demonically.

Fear was visible in her eyes despite her protest, "Sir—"

"Go away," the demon told her lowly, "Because I'm not, and you really don't want to be in the same room as me."

"Why—"

"—Because I'll rip your goddamned throat out if you try to take me away from him," Sebastian hissed. That sent the nurse running away, though she would pass out before she got to the authorities. He turned to face his master then, only to see that the Phantomhive boy had fallen asleep, far too fatigued to watch the scene. Sighing, the butler went to the chair that sat next to the bed, sitting down to watch the child as he slept.


	4. Visiting Hours

/ Mun here!

I'm sorry these have been taking so long to update lately! I've been really busy and I need to rewatch Kuro to get my muse for everyone back!

Reviews encourage new chapters!

* * *

><p>The next morning, the butler had taken some tea to Ciel and, after a small argument, got him to sit up and drink it. "You'll have company soon," he told the boy, "You should try to relax until then."<p>

"This is all so pointless," the young master mumbled, setting the tea-cup down on the table next to his bed.

Sebastian frowned at that, but he didn't get a chance to respond before the door opened to reveal Baldroy. He made his way over to the bed with a frown, twirling an unlit cigarette between his fingertips out of anxiety. "Where do you get off killing yourself without letting somebody know?" Bard asked sarcastically, not knowing how to deal with this kind of thing. "Ya should be damn glad Sebastian found you when he did," he muttered as he crossed his arms over his chest, "You're better than this for Heaven's sake." Despite the harsh way he'd put everything, the servant actually seemed to be pouting a little.

Sighing heavily, Ciel motioned absently with his hand, his movements still pretty shaky, "If you're looking for an apology, you aren't getting one."

To that, Bard just shook his head, his face contorted with disappointment. "Ya scared Finny and Mei-Rin half to death," he pointed out, but he didn't get to say anything else before—

The door opened and Mei-Rin rushed in, her voice full of panic, "Young master, thank Heavens you're alright!" She ran over to the boy's hospital bed without care for where she was walking, knocking into Sebastian and pushing Bard out of the way. Then she was at Ciel's side, taking one of his hands in hers despite the grumbling that he gave in response. "I was so worried!" she squeaked, "What would have happened if—if—oh, I just can't!"

It was with that that the maid lost her wits completely, fainting and thankfully being caught by Bard - who'd been standing by, clearly expecting this reaction. Sebastian watched as she was settled into the nearby chair, Bard shaking his head again, but none of them were able to discuss things further before the door opened yet again: this time to reveal Finny.

The little blonde was silent as he made his way into the hospital room, shutting the door behind him. He hooked his fingers together behind his back, finding a seat at the edge of Ciel's bed. He said nothing in comparison to the other's reactions, instead offering a tiny smile. "I'm glad you're okay," he told his master simply, resting a hand briefly against Ciel's.

The drama, it seemed, was over for now.


End file.
